Shaping the light

by Bardócz L. Csaba

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1.
The trees are shaping the light on your wall, it’s kind of moving, after all, it reminds you of the days when the sea… The sea was shaking your fragile little boat still, you were cruising with a note found in a dream-like place. The trees are shaping the light on your wall. Dreams are taking your life to the ball.
2.
The moon-eyed lion visited the town, a young boy saw her only, wandering around the streets, he felt a new sensation… Tremblig knees, heart so excited, and above the broken chimneys there she was, sighted. The moon-eyed lion, looking gently down straight at the young boy from the town „he has too much imagination” said the parents to the school headmaster, who suggested no more presents to avoid disaster.. The moon-eyed lion left the town, the young boy saw her only, sadly spellbound, he wondered of his destination.
3.
You may travel back in time to visit long lost scenes of joy, to revive some reveries when the blues got you, oh boy. You don’t need a time machine, there are finer ways to employ: pick a song that used to be the anthem of your love, oh boy. Close your eyes and slowly dive into that strange alloy of fading pictures, tunes and scents, have a genuine time, oh boy. You may travel back in time to visit long lost scenes of joy, but time can’t pay your visit back, do not fool yourself, oh boy.
4.
01:23
She knows what she feels, she knows what she wants. He only knows what he doesn’t feel, and it doesn’t feel right, only good. She would like to belong, she would like to be there. He would like to be wrong, and he isn’t strong now, only would like to feel again and burn and feel again and burn that he knows what she feels, he knows what she wants. She knows what he doesn’t feel, and it doesn’t feel good every night…
5.
If only You were a bit much uglier, or at least not funny at all… would I like You more after some amateur plastic surgery? If only You were much more mediocre, or at least not crazy at all… would I like You more after some wit-wrecking brainwash? If only You were just a bit more wrinkled, I would find it easier to fall in love more, more in love with a gorgeous, witty, crazy girl like You.
6.
Don’t wait too long in that eerie night, with a glass in your hand, sober, despite the glass being empty and the Moon being full. Don’t think too long of the crossroads missed, with a map in your mind of girls never kissed. The heart may be heavy, and the Moon still full, pour your heart into that glass in your hand. Drink it slowly, don’t even try to pretend that you could apply some filter, the percentage of full Moon’s too high. Don’t wait too long in that eerie night, with a glass in your hand, sober, despite the glass being empty, the heart being drunk, and the Moon always full.
7.
A goldfinch landed on my window sill, wanted perhaps to see the new neighbour; a robin soon joined the goldfinch, and said: „He looks moderately mad.” (I took it as a compliment) „True”, replied the goldfinch and flew away, the robin followed suit. „Pleased to meet you” said I, the new neighbour, who can’t fly. The chestnut trees know how I feel, but it doesn’t make me sad, only moderately mad. (The next morning) The goldfinch landed on my writing desk, wanted perhaps to hear the new neighbour; the robin soon joined the goldfinch, and said: „He sounds moderately mad” (I took it as a compliment) „Pleased to meet you”, I heard, in their own tune and word. The chestnut trees know how I feel, and it makes me absolutely glad, plus moderately mad.
8.
Sit down, think of Her, turn imagination on, set out for the dear, and buy a delicate kiss as a souvenir. Stand up, dress for Her, turn the record player on, set out for the chance, and bring her lovely feet over for a dance. The other parts of her body will be there as well, of course, some drifting beautifully, beautiful, off course... [and the crickets] Wake up, look for Her, turn the sandwich toaster on, set out for marriage, and see if -against all expectations- you can manage.
9.
True or false, conscience calls, it doesn’t say, oh yes, it does. True or false, the answer falls, it doesn’t hurt, oh yes, it does. Trying to match all the letters to pictures on drum-beating walls. True or false, conscience calls, it doesn’t say, oh yes, it does. Trying to match all the letters to pictures on drum-beating walls. Trying to catch all the meaning of letters waiting to be calls.
10.
Where are You going? Could I come with You? Do You know that place where the moments are days? Where are we going? I shall not tell You till the stars are asleep, till the blue turns so deep that I won’t see You blush, but I hope that You will, in that beautiful place where the moments are days. What are we doing? Could we turn back now? I can see what You’ve built from desire and guilt. Where are You going? I won’t come with You to that beautiful place where the moments are days.
11.
Please don’t turn yourself the other way now, I have visualised too much of how it would be to see her as near as she can be. Please don’t end yourself in such a way now, that only songs will stay to tell of how it could be to see her as dear as she can be. Please show me yourself based on a true you now, and mock my imagination of how it would be to see her as here as she can be.
12.
You may travel back in time to visit long lost scenes of joy, to revive some reveries when the blues got you, oh boy. You don’t need a time machine, there are finer ways to employ: pick a song that used to be the anthem of your love, oh boy. Close your eyes and slowly dive into that strange alloy of fading pictures, tunes and scents, have a genuine time, oh boy. You may travel back in time to visit long lost scenes of joy, but time can’t pay your visit back, do not fool yourself, oh boy.

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Recorded at Send me close to the Oh in Keszthely, Hungary, in May 2020. Photo by Konstantin Kashin.

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released May 21, 2020

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Bardócz L. Csaba Hungary

Bardócz L. Csaba derűs- boros-tücskös-holdas-tündéres-felhős-szíves-szédülős-tükrös-csavaros-teás-angyalos dalokat ír és énekel, gitárra kitárva. Koncertjein szívesen mesél és örömmel beszélget.

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